Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
