oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
