and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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