his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
