the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
