Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
