She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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