why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize