They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
