I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize