so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
