Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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