i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
