It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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