Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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