i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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