So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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