so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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