the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize