I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
