this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
