Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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