god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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