He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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