the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize