Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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