You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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