The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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