community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
