It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You are a genius and a whore.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
