also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
