part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
