I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
