I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
