Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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