My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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