There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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