hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's great music for shaving your balls
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize