Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
