literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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