Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My life is pants optional.
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