sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
