I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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