pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
