I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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