I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
