Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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