If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
