Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
