Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
