That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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