college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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