I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
