weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
