Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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