you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
