Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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