Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
