Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am available for nakedness
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