Got a toothbrush?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All the doctor said was why
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
