This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
