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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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