i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize